Let’s Talk About Porn

Porn &
Sexpectations!

Here are some things that will almost certainly happen at some point in your sex life, that you rarely see on the big screen.

Some people watch porn and some don’t. Some people really like porn and some people really don’t. Some things about porn are good, but some are really terrible. It is important to understand that there are differences between sex in porn and sex in real-life relationships, and that people don’t always look or act like that in real life.

Is there a difference between
Porn Sex
and
Real-Life Sex?

Yes!

Did you know that it can take about 8 hours to film a 20 minute porn scene?

Although the people in porn are having sex, they are acting. So, it’s like a big sex performance, rather than how people actually have sex in real life. Watching porn and thinking that’s how sex is in real life is like watching an action movie and thinking that’s what normal life is like.

A lot of the time porn actors will need to have sex in uncomfortable positions, so that the camera can get a good close-up on what’s happening. In reality, the most popular sex position for couples is ‘the missionary’. That’s when one person is on top of the other. This allows for both people to see each other, and plenty of kissing, touching and talking.

Porn Bodies
- we don’t all look like that!

Porn actors are often hired because of how they look, and generally don’t look like the rest of us. Only about 5% of porn actors are overweight. In Ireland, about 51% of women and 66% of men are overweight. The average dress size for professional female porn actors is size 6-8 – that’s 3 to 4 dress sizes smaller than the average Irish woman. Men in porn are often big, tall and muscular, and do not represent the average male body. Remember, porn actors are hired because they look a certain way – but human bodies come in many different and beautiful shapes and sizes!

Porn
penises

Porn
vulvas & vaginas

Porn
Pubes

There are hardly any pubes anywhere to be seen in porn. This is for two reasons. Female porn actors shave their pubes so you can see the vulva (the outside of the vagina) more clearly, whereas male porn actors shave their pubic hair to make their penises look bigger. It’s all just for appearance reasons. There is no health or hygiene benefit to having no pubes.

Anal sex

There is a lot of guy-girl anal sex going on in porn. This can make it seem like anal sex is something that all women like to do, or at least try. This is far from true. A lot, if not most women, will never try anal sex over the course of their entire life. If this is something you might consider trying in the future, it’s really important that you discuss it with your partner, and know how to have anal sex properly and safely.

Anal sex hygiene:

Sometimes in porn, people go straight from having anal sex to having vaginal or oral sex, without cleaning the penis in between. It is SO important that the penis is cleaned after anal sex, as bacteria can be passed from the anal passage to the vagina or mouth and cause infection.

Enthusiastic consent

Probably the MOST IMPORTANT thing in relation to sex is the giving and receiving of consent for every single thing that you do. That means making sure that anything you do with your partner is for the right reasons, and that both of you really want to do it. In porn, you don’t see the giving and receiving of consent. It looks as if all people involved are mind-readers who know exactly what the other person wants. But remember – it’s scripted and they are acting! Everything you see on screen has usually been planned out well in advance and agreed on by all actors involved.

Condoms

You don’t often see condoms in porn sex. However, condoms are used a lot in gay porn and certain porn companies ensure that all of their employees use them. It’s important to note that all professional porn actors are required to get STI checks every 2 weeks, and even that does not guarantee that they don’t pick up any STIs. It’s really important to use condoms when you have sex, to protect against STIs and pregnancy.

Orgasms

Ooohhh, Eeeehh, Aaahhh! – There’s a lot of this going on in porn. Female orgasms in porn are generally very loud and exaggerated. Unfortunately, most of the time, they are faking it. Remember, they are acting and it is a performance! The majority of people don’t make these sounds when they are having an orgasm, but some do and that’s cool too. Also, it is perfectly possible to have pleasurable sex without everyone having an orgasm – it does not need to be the ‘goal’ of sex. Putting pressure on yourself or your partner to orgasm will most likely make it more difficult and could ruin a great experience! There is loads of penis-in-vagina (penetrative) sex in porn and women seemingly having tonnes of orgasms from this alone – in reality, over 80% of women need the clitoris to be stimulated, and the most sensitive part of the clitoris is not in the vagina at all, but on the ‘outside’ (towards the top of the vulva). Porn also depicts men being able to have sex for a long time without having an orgasm, and then suddenly having ‘the big O’ right on cue. Again, there is so much going on behind the scenes – masturbation, taking breaks, and sometimes extra actors who will stand in and orgasm when the director wants them to. So, all in all, orgasms in porn are very different to orgasms in reality!

Sexual violence

The things that we see in some (not all) porn can be terribly nasty and violent, like people being hurt or sexually assaulted. It might seem like the actors love being called names and treated really badly, but they don’t – they’re just acting and the people in the videos are paid to act like they are enjoying it. It can be confusing to watch when someone looks like they are enjoying being hurt. It is never OK to assume that someone wants to be touched or treated aggressively – see our ‘consent’ section to learn a little more about effective and respectful sexual communication. If you have seen something that you are upset by it is really important that you have somebody that you can talk to about it.

If you feel that you have been affected by rape or sexual assault contact Galway Rape Crisis Centre for advice and support

Here are some things that will almost certainly happen at some point in your sex life, that you rarely see on the big screen.

Remember sex in porn is nothing like sex in real life…they are
acting!